By Fate Or By Chance

"The Fault Dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves" says Cassius to Brutus as Caesar returns in Shakespeare's production of Julius Caesar.  Cassius is trying to enlighten Brutus that the dwindling power of the Senate and the monster they see in Caesar have the same exact origins.  It isn't fate that has created these two problems, but a result of their very own bad decision making in giving power to Caesar.  This mirrors and issue that I deal with in my very own life, whether or not fate controls my path or if it's as simple as a roll of the dice that charts it's trajectory.

 Let me clarify my beliefs and philosophy for a second, that way you better understand me.  To me, fate is closely related to religion and God.  God is the overseer and our creator.  God is the one being that is supposed to know all of our decisions before we make them and also know how our life will turn out, at least that's what I was taught.  

Chance, or the "roll of the dice" is more synonomous with life turning out anyway that it chooses despite whether or not you make good choices or bad choices, and god has no bearing or relationship to the matter.  I want to start off by letting anyone reading this know that I'm a believer.  I believe in God and Jesus.  

I believe he is the creator, and if he decided to turn the sky purple in this very instant, then he could do that.  I believe in science and I also believe there are things that happen in our reality that science can't explain and in those moments, God has left his mark.  However, this is where my faith falters and where a pastor would be dissapointed in me.  Although I believe God can do anything, I don't believe that he will do everything for everyone.

 I don't believe prayer fixes all of our issues.  Why?  Because there have been too many times in my life where I've needed divine intervention, prayed, and it's fallen on deaf ears.  Now I know that God is supposed to hear all of our prayers, but if he does, in my opinion, he chooses to answer some and not all.  I'm sure some religious folk out there are probably telling me I sound like a spoiled brat right now and that I should be grateful for what I have, what he has already done for me and for the very breath in my body, and they may be right.  

But I also can't deny what I feel and what I think.  You see, I have a hard time reconciling the fact that if God controls fate, controls all, that he would let innocent people die horrible deaths.  I have a hard time understanding how he would let horrible things happen to good people.  Now I brought this up in discussion before and I was told that no one is perfect and maybe folks were paying for their sins when bad things happened to them.  Or better yet, that what happened to them or the trials and tribulations they endured were supposed to serve as a teaching tool or lesson to others.  I'm sorry but that's illogical to me.  So my grandmother, who has been a great person all of her years, worked hard, and given her last should still have to suffer from intense illness and live check to check while someone who robs, cheats, or kills should live a charmed life and her suffering is to be a lesson to another?  

Ok, so what lesson do we learn from the scandalous individual?  That living a trifling life is rewarding or that being true to your faith, and good to others means a life time of suffering and barely ever getting above the poverty level.  How about the fate of babies in war torn regions or third world countries? 

Yeah you could make the excuse that their parents suffer or go through rough things because they were given free will by god and made bad choices.  But I'll argue with you that a baby has not yet developed the capacity to make or discern from good or bad choices or even to sin.  But these innocent babies continue to suffer from crippling diseases, they are raped, molested, abused, or murdered.  Someone please tell me what lesson I'm supposed to learn from this, don't worry, I'll wait! (Crickets) Situations like these are what make me think that a lot of life is based on chance.  Sometimes you roll sevens in the game of life and sometimes you crap out.  

To me it's the only thing that sounds consistent with what I see in the world on an every day basis.  How do we reconcile the truths of fate and chance?  What do you believe in and what makes sense?  For the life of me, things in this world don't seem to be consistent with what I've been taught from a religious point of view yet I'm still a believer and I believe that if God wanted to step into these dire situations then he would, and in some cases he does.  I just don't understand why the all powerful won't step into them all, at least in instances involving the children or the helpless.  

Good people have good things happen to them as well as bad things.  Evil people succeed in their evil deeds as well as fail, this my friend is chance.  Whether this world and our lives are governed by fate and how the lord guages our good and bad deads or whether life is soley based on how lucky you are, I'm just looking for consistency.  Maybe it's a control thing.  

Maybe I need to know if my life is governed by fate or chance because knowing if my actions affect my outcome or my life's ledger having no bearing on my final chapter gives me a certain sense of finality.  I'll know that if I do well, things will be okay or It doesn't matter what type skull duggery I engage in, my life could turn out just as well as the greatest humanitarian or as horrid as the worst of the lot.  I don't know, I just don't have it all figured out.  But the more I think about it, chance seems to take a hold of my thoughts.  And I sit and wonder if there's a chance that God will grant me the peace and all the desires that I seek.