I've never been a noticeable guy. I've never been the person that people take the time to look twice at nor the person that people pay much attention to when I speak. I remember when I was in elementary school, I was the skinny, funny looking, nerdy kid that everyone had jokes about for the longest time. I was smart, always in the top when it came to academics and I remember when I joined the football team in the eight grade, I excelled, I was the star player. That carried over into high school and college. My life never really changed, I was the intelligent guy who excelled at sports, was friendly to everyone, but wasn't anything special by any others standards. I remember the popular kids, I remember the crowds they used to draw and I remember how their names were on the tips of everyone's tongues.
For the life of me I couldn't figure out what made them so much more appealing than me. I was smarter, I was athletically superior than most, but it didn't seem to matter. Was it because I never drank alcohol, smoked, or tried any drug in my life (and I still haven't)? I figured maybe I wasn't the "man" because I didn't indulge in these things like others. I was pretty much irrelevant to everyone unless I was running on a track or playing on a football field. Then something happened one day, I just didn't care. So no one notices you, who gives a damn. So all the girls think your unnattractive and talk to your friends and not you, who cares? So you can sit in a night club or bar and everyone bypasses talking to you so that they can talk to the crazy drunk person ten feet away, who cares? I just didn't care. It was what it was. I believed in myself and I had confidence in myself. I wasn't and still may not be the best looking out there but I carry myself with pride and dignity. I began to watch and observe others and from that I noticed, it took too much energy to constantly crave attention and draw it to yourself. When I saw what some folks went through to be relevant to others, I decided that it just wasn't for me. I'm good how I am. I'm happy with the goals I've set for myself and I'm happy knowing that I haven't sold my soul to anyone for anything just to have my name uttered on someone else's lips or have my image stuck in another's head.
When it's all said and done, I can say it like Frank Sinatra, "I did it my way". You know what I learned, it's that there's something cool about being that fly on the wall, there's something cool about being that guy that isn't in everyone's business and great not having everyone else in my business. Who I am and what I see in the mirror wasn't created by what other people think or what they've said, it's of my making and organically evolved from what I've learned along the way. So if there's anyone wondering why they can't be the center of attention, first ask yourself if you even want to be the clown on center stage. Stay positive, stay strong, stay confident, and know your belief in yourself is all you need. I'll catch y'all later!