Just Breathe...

So I'm going to go ahead and warn everybody before you even get into this post that it won't contain anything relating to politics, fashion, entertainment, or anything else of real substance.  I had a tough day today and I'm just going to vent about it.  I feel I'm due for a vent session after how this week has gone and I really need to just put it all down and let it out.  

No, nothing catastrophic happened or anything mind blowing.  It was just a tough week and today, Thursday, September 17 (just a little context since this post is going out for Friday), was a culmination of my week or stress as I would call it.  So here we go, work has been nuts all week and not one day seemed to go by in a smooth manner.  Just to give you a little incite as to what I do, I run youth outreach programs which focus on getting kids to school from a local apartment complex by way of walking and even knocking on doors to get the kids up if need be.

 I struck this pose several times this week and as this  Psychology Today  article will tell you, stress kills!

I struck this pose several times this week and as this Psychology Today article will tell you, stress kills!

 Once at the school I help out with academic and behavioral interventions and sometimes I may even need to help find homeless families a shelter and food shelves.  I work with families who deal with a lot of trama and by default a lot of that comes my way as I, am many times the only positive role model in these kids life as well as a stable figure.  I work with these kids and families until six o'clock every day which means my work schedule goes from 7:30 am to 6:00 pm daily.  

Needless to say, many of the kids have been "Off the hook" this week and today I just wasn't having it.  I was tired the entire day, I haven't slept well the whole week, nor have I been feeling well.  I felt like I was having a reoccurance of the pneumonia and sepsis that had me in the ICU for two weeks earlier this year and I've been dizzy off and on for the last two days.  

My tire exploded on my car on my way back from lunch break to work and I managed to get everyone's attention because it sounded like a shot gun blast.  Chaos seemed to be everywhere I turned this week no matter where I went and the most peaceful or relaxed time I had (meaning I wasn't thinking about work) came when I was riding my bike to a big meeting for my job.  I even purchased a lottery ticket as a quick fix to life, hoping to cash in big time but I haven't even checked my numbers to see if I won yet (P.S. If I did win you would never know about it, because I would take my winnings, donate to some people and places and vanish to a peaceful life with a few loved ones on a secluded beach).  

 I could have let the week defeat me, but I chose to see the duality in life. I chose to see the good with the bad and that negative space may not always be negative. 

I could have let the week defeat me, but I chose to see the duality in life. I chose to see the good with the bad and that negative space may not always be negative. 

But you know what?  All in all I guess it still wasn't a fail, because after I sat back in a chair, took a deep breath and began to think, I realized I'm still living.  Today and this week taught me that when things get tough you have to live in the moment.  When you live in the moment you begin to learn little lessons, see little things that you constantly over look.  Yeah this week wasn't the best but each day brought about another opportunity for me to learn patience.  

It gave me another opportunity to take a deep breath and search for clarity and see that it could all be much worse and it has been worse.  I'm also sure that one day it can and will be worse.  But as they get worse, they will also get better and no matter good or bad, it all works out when I choose to live in the moment.  Do I like having days or weeks like this? No I don't, but I also appreciate learning things that will make life that much more interesting and gratifying.  

So yeah, I know this came across as a journal entry but I didn't really feel like getting all deep, philosophical or political.  I just wanted to complain and I did just that.  Thanks for listening to me complain and I hope you all have a great weekend.  Oh, and let's hope I hit those winning numbers!